This body pulls me into sleep, like a slow drying beach, the boundary
where the water has been pulls at the tide.
I hover there on the overnight shift,
somewhat conscious somewhat evading life
In this between time between prayers
I hoist my heart with its poisons and jewelry
constructing gratitude: gigantic temporary shallow
My life has been slivered down just strung on a string
to amuse, broken no more garbage than it was before.
Above everything I turn my ego back on itself
confronting my own obsession my fond thoughts
the familiarity with You a deception
of ignorance: I can't know Your Vast Expanse.
I wrap my hands around prayer like a blanket
every time I sleep with You I become more attached
The time I spend talking myself into quiet
Suspended and useless: someone listens unmoved from another room.
Work, from midnight to day
quick effort thrown at poverty and isolation
marks my life with a structure like a cell
block upon block marking space
In these spaces I throw my gratitude at the sky
and to the East, and to my heart
Waiting for a new breath
a meditation for a peaceful life.
I can let go of all the pettiness
I can release all the hate
Let silence and joy fill me
As the wonder of night and quiet eases along.
My family sleeps, the quiet parks wait for daylight
The buildings rock their shadows
You give me a few words to tell myself
About all the blessings I possess.
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