what I did wrong

I need to remember
that I begged for mercy and received
this abundance of blessings

now thinking back how I regret not taking more time
to praise and worship You

and for spending too long grieving when the sun was shining
or the rain fell over the sound of the freeway

before the car accident

a beautiful poem
sailed over head, a vulture on an unusual flight over the city park

adrift in my unconscious
the shape of clouds or the colors of pale red light

still, from this moment to that moment on the playground

I can recall the feel of the poem

and the sounds of children playing

a poem that grew alongside
Forgiveness total forgiveness
peace total peace
Jesus' love washing over my life and unbinding
a thousand sins

the arrogance of youth

There is something sudden about young people.

A rapid advance of thought- the quick grasping attention'
the startling innocence of perception-

They say something plainly- a lack of attention
becomes noticed- a slowness offends

my thick stiff mind takes light from each bright
moment and strains to feel summer arrive

a memory of the grass in the hills, the long low branch behind the mustard plants
the sound of the blackbirds and the change in the blueness of the sky
the clouds' absence

Dancing in Berkeley

a middle ground
between fearfuland beautiful
on the dance floor.
recovering from George W. Bush
bearing the guilt of the depression
reawakening and expanding
universes of music growing and collapsing

November 2009